Related Topics. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments.-Melanie White, 50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more. Turning 50 is a milestone but it can be hard to know what to write in a card, so add a silly quote and send them over the hill with a bit of flair! ♥ “ Antique party: Frame some quotes and display them in antique frames. Know someone who is turning 50 soon? Here are some ideas for using funny sayings and jokes about turning 50. Once you're 50, your LDL cholesterol numbers are probably higher than your golf handicap. These quotes will tickle just about anyone's funny bone. By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician. ~ Sophie Tucker 2. Check out our full collection of birthday quotes. Funny Quotes About Turning 50 "When I grow up I want to be an old woman." It can't hurt to toss in a little wit and wisdom on reaching age 50 from a few famous people as well. Turning 50 is a grand event in itself with half the battle of life won. Turning 50 isn't so bad; it's admitting it that sucks. "From birth to age 18, a girl needs good parents. Share them with the birthday honoree or anyone you think might get a chuckle out of them. We remain in this life, and also if you’re not readily available, the sort of regular time transcends and you really did not live it. Turning 50 reminds me of that Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, except now we're getting closer to the nursing home and there's probably more tumbling down involved. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.- Phyllis Diller, Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles.- Melanie White, 50 is a nice, round number – it pretty much matches my body.- Melanie White50 isn’t old – just ask anybody who’s 90.- Melanie White, At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.- Anonymous50 years old? But actually being 50 is turning out to have tons of unexpected benefits. Inspirational Quotes For 50th Birthday Quotes About Women Turning 50 Good Quotes For Turning 50 Funny Turning 50 Quotes The Big 50 Birthday Quotes Quotes Life At 50 Great Quotes For 50th Birthday Over 50 Women Quotes Women Turning 50 Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes. Turning 50 reminds me of that Jack and Jill nursery rhyme, except now we're getting closer to the nursing home and there's probably more tumbling down involved. The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once. BirthdayFrenzy - This website also offers a collection of jokes about the challenges of turning 50. Turning 50 means it’s only a matter of time before you’re regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. If you're worried about the way you look at 50, never look in the mirror with your glasses on. "Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. jumping in the stupid thing. 50 is the five perfect 10s . Congratulations on turning 50. I think that’s a great idea. If your goal was to reach your heart attack-prone years, you've made it! Funny “Happy 50th Birthday” Wishes. After fifty, one ceases to digest. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out." Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Imitation is flattery: Encourage guests to come dressed as the birthday guest or bring objects that emulate that person. Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote. It's the one game where EVERYBODY gets to be a comedian! Funny Turning 50 Quotes & Sayings . Funny voting quotes and funny election quotes: elect to keep smiling! Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. Fathers Day jokes: Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh. When you’re 50, don’t worry about turning gray. 50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that's halfway up the stairway to heaven. Age 50: when your hairline looks in the mirror and slowly backs away while you watch. Being a hottie at 50 means you still get post-menopausal hot flashes. Men also have a unique perspective when it comes to 50th birthdays. Have a great day and Happy Birthday! Age 50 is when you start using those number 10 candles on your birthday cake because they take up less space. Just be glad you have hair. 50th Birthday Wishes ,Quotes,Messages and … At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder. 50 years old? "My father had a profound effect on me. Thank you. On your 50th birthday, you definitely notice wrinkles that you didn’t think were there the day before. At 50 years old, life seems shorter. Republican Jokes: laugh your way to the voting booth. - Kin Hubbard. When the day finally arrives, you can stop fretting about “turning” 50 and accept that you “are” 50. Please help us improve. Sep 25, 2019 - Anything to do with being 50 funny or not!. – Melanie White. -, "I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent." MilkSnort! These funny, insightful, and poignant quotes for women over 50 are all the proof you need. Truly, the best way to age gracefully is to do it with a smile on your face, so find some funny quotes that resonate with you and celebrate your 50th birthday with a bang. "It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" Fifty is the time to have the guts to try out a new ride that looks scariest of them all. funny 50th birthday quotes for men,Here you will find the funniest and most hilarious birthday. Just be glad you have hair.- Melanie White, At 50, when you sneeze, “water under the bridge” has a completely different meaning.- Melanie White. You spend more … Funny 50th Birthday Quotes. This is a rule.- Greg Tamblyn, Just remember, when you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.- Charles M. SchulzI 50th Birthday Poems: This post is an awesome mixed bag of sweet, cute, inspirational, motivational and funny 50th birthday wishes. You’re looking for a funny birthday quote so that you can zing your old man. Nifty, shifty, thrifty...Fifty! Don’t be jealous because I look this good at 50 . As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now.”. At 50 it's more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. 50 and kicking . Funny 50th Birthday Quotes and Sayings 50th birthday quotes and sayings to help wish someone a fabulous 50th! If you're worried about turning 50, stop and do a self-assessment. Who said there were no such things as miracles? Funny Sayings. Turning 50 is terrific... if you're a bottle of Scotch. Some are outright funny, others are a little droll. Well, I'm fifty. The Key to Being Funny. And those hot flashes? ADVISORY: This site contains anti-depressive material. Fifty is a powerful age for women. When you're turning 50 and strangers ask how old you are, tell them you're 75 so they think you look wonderful for your age. Funny Ronald Reagan quotes that favor the flavor of his self-deprecating wit. If you're really upset about turning 50, be thankful you're not counting it in dog years! So you're 50. These quotes will tickle just about anyone's funny bone. 50 is the new 25 (*Twice) You are 18,262 days old! Contemplate, smile and nod at these eloquent and perceptive viewpoints about growing older It takes a good sense of humor and some funny quotes about turning 50 to mark a half-century birthday properly. Even more than a tie clip. - Eric Satie, For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. Sex is as good at 50 as it was at 20. Funny 50th Birthday Sayings: What You Can Expect at 50 You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you. From 35 to 55, she needs a good personality. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old turning 50 quotes, turning 50 sayings, and turning 50 proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Share them with the birthday honoree or anyone you think might get a chuckle out of them. At 50 it's more important than ever to eat fruits and vegetables. Showing search results for "Funny Turning 50" sorted by relevance. - Franklin Pierce Adams. 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