In fact, unless we are absolutely certain of the familys religious and spiritual convictions, it is better to avoid the topic altogether, and give them some space instead. Families differ in their religious beliefs, social preferences and cultural outlook. She may depend on you entirely or she may wish to participate in the planning and have you take care of the details. How can people of the Hindu faith be supported when grieving? It is specifically meant for those who are contemplating visiting a recently bereaved family. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. There may be a request to turn the patients bed so their head faces east or for the patient to be allowed to lie on the floor in the moments before death (so that they are close to mother earth and their soul can depart easily). While there's no rule book, the visitation, whether held at a funeral home or the family's home, is a good opportunity to express your condolences. After the funeral, friends may visit the bereaved, usually bringing gifts of fruit. Kalyana saavu is roughly translated as happy death, and you would use this phrasing to honor someones life and legacy. Since it is such a singular honor, one shouldn't refuse an invitation to be a pallbearer except for illness or absence from the location in which the funeral is being held. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. Asking the person not to cry is like choking a person who is already gasping for air. The closer your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died, the sooner you'll want to reach out. The family also . Thanks. Upon hearing the news of a young woman who died in a car crash, a purported well-wisher arrived at the parents home and declared: What sort of parents would allow a young woman to drive a car alone to work at night? Such words only deepen the pain and guilt that the parents are already suffering. Good Thinking provides a range of resources to help Londoners improve their mental wellbeing. It's a good idea to have a friend read over your eulogy. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. Distant relatives and more casual friends and acquaintances may prefer visiting the family at the funeral home. Another common mistake is to pass remarks on how the family could have taken better care of the person who passed. Friends may call or visit family members of the deceased to offer their condolences upon hearing of the death and may bring flowers to them at that time. Similarly, theres no understanding of heaven or hell, but there is the desire to achieve Nirvana. After that, the body has to be cremated. It is customary to visit within 10 days the family of the person who passed away. It is appropriate to visit the home of the family as an expression of comfort and support. Discussions about unhealthy habits leading to an early demise can be reserved for later. It's best to wait until the funeral service is over to greet the family, unless they're greeting people before the service. Leaving footwear outside is part of local culture in India, and is a respectful gesture in this context. A common blunder by well-meaning visitors is to try and compare with their own limited experiences. Offer your help in other ways, such as ushering, delivering a reading, preparing the program for the service, or assisting the family with plans for the service or for any reception afterwards (if there is one). The soul, however, must continue with its journey. For information about opting out, click here. Why its so easy for Modi to appropriate icons hes opposed to Can you give an appropriate caption for this? Close friends who are invited to attend will receive a personal invitation to the event. There is no official time frame for writing notes of appreciation to those who have extended their condolences and kindness to you. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. Thats why cremation is preferred. 3. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. Responding to a Clients Note of Appreciation, Addressing a Former President of the United States, Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes, Attire Guide: Dress Codes from Casual to White Tie, Five Tips for Looking Crisp and Keeping Cool in the Workplace, How to Help When Someone is in the Hospital, Definition of Etiquette - Consideration, Respect and Honesty, Wedding Etiquette 101: Everything You Need to Know. Alternatively, consider upgrading your account to enjoy an ad-free experience along with numerous other benefits. Once Nirvana is attained, the reincarnation cycle ends. Its important not to confuse peace and speed here, as speed is the best and appropriate choice. advice. Doing away with anything that suggests we are arriving at a party is sensible. We have the perfect wedding, graduation or housewarming gift for someone special in your life. If there is a line waiting to see the family, keep your thoughts and comments brief. It is a common slip-up for people to assume that sharing their own religious beliefs would bring solace to the bereaved family. With that, parents will often go to great lengths to ensure the success of their families. Hindu - A gift of fruit for the family is the appropriate gift. (2020). Please Click Here on how you can do that. During the weeks and months of loneliness that follow, especially after the crowds disperse, the bereaved person might feel that the world is avoiding them. of an actual attorney. Unless we actively keep our phones in silent mode, a loud and abrupt musical ringtone tearing through the silence can be quite unsettling during the visit. That being said, our approach to the bereaved cannot be generalised beyond a point; each situation is unique, as is each family. Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. Hare Krishna. Thank the family for offering the honor to you. Hare Krishna. You have a great responsibility now. 4. Saraff, Anjula & Srivastava, Harish. Caring for someone who is dying involves looking after their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. After this cremation ceremony, a reception at the familys place may happen. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. If you wonder what Hindu funeral traditions are like, they can be different from traditional American funerals, but the core fundamentals remain the same. The funeral directors will take the body for bathing, dressing and anointing with the permission and in the presence of chosen friends and relatives before the funeral rites take place. Consider it an honor to help your friend during this painful time. Often there will be some open visitation for an hour or so just prior to the funeral service. Any information you provide to Cake, and all communications between you and Cake, We hope her journey is comforted by Lord Krishna (or Lord Rama). This article is written to highlight the dos and the dont-s in most situations. This link will open in a new window. Although attitudes and risk tolerances vary, no sane parent would knowingly do anything that would harm their child. There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. As Narayanan explains, "Rituals give us a way of cathartically dealing with our grief. Traditional stereotypes have shifted in other, more suburban areas of India. Other mourners are expected to stand. It could be anything from a gift of fooda casserole, a fruit basket, or some brownies for the family and their visitorsto an offer to house out-of-town relatives or friends. You are lucky he went early!, I know how you feel, I was devastated when my cat died last year!. eCondolence.com, LLC | Copyright 2023. Likewise, the person who passes an ugly remark at a solemn family function might not even realise what he said or did was hurtful. I remember how she encouraged me to get good grades and once even offered me a ride home after school. It is not uncommon to hear one person pass a negative remark about the deceased persons character, soon to be joined by other likeminded people who fuel the conversation into a full-fledged debate. After a person succumbs to illnesses such as cancer, some visitors make public assertions about magical cures that have no scientific validity, claiming that the person could have been alive through such means. Get a signed copy of the NEW Emily Post's Etiquette Centennial edition, and support Vermont's independent bookstores. Organ donation is accepted and encouraged in the Hindu faith and should be discussed with the family when appropriate. . We are very sorry for your loss. Some illnesses are so severe that the body would succumb despite doctors doing their best. Ultimately, Hindus believe that through praxis, accumulation of good karma, and divine grace, moksha (liberation) can be achieved after death. 10 () . Theyre good people inside and out, living a life marked with joy and fulfillment. Not reading or reciting anything from the holy scriptures. (1995). As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. Make a list of all the ways your loved one enriched . Some traditions will not allow for a wedding to take place during the year. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. Comforting the Bereaved Family and friends will express condolences and comfort by attending the Vigil Service and the Funeral Mass if possible. See if you would agree. The flowers are placed at the feet of the deceased. Notes of condolence should be acknowledged with a handwritten note. 15. This link will open in a new window. Dr. Vasudha Narayanan, Professor of Religion at the University of Florida and. In any context, bad manners are those that make other people uncomfortable.