They arent going to get rid of me that way. Betty White, I need to retire from retirement. Sandra Day OConnor, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Kitty ONeill Collins, Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. Will Rogers, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Ella Harris, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Chi Chi Rodriguez, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Steve Young, Retirement at 65 is ridiculous. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. You've obviously missed it. Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. We tell 'em to get a life." Someone broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. your many years of sacrifice and service. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers.. Take Without Forgetting. I cant get old; Im working. Honor the dignity of the Thin Blue Line with police retirement plaque wording ideas that really mean something. It is the beginning of the open highway." - Author Unknown Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." I am not. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Having A Good Time Is My Job! Fred Rogers, "For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom." Why did the coffee call 911? Our weekly newsletter full of inspiration, podcasts, trends and news. You cant win until you do this. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." All content, The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. Get Started Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." The police are working tirelessly to catch him. Funny I dont remember applying for a job there. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? "We envy you, but are excited for you!". It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. One fire truck and 20 cops show up to a call. as you follow in His way, Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you It is better to live rich than to die rich. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. An officer observes a woman standing in the middle of the street. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. The Badge law enforcement retirement poem honestly explore the sacrifices a career police officer must make. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. 7. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Patrick Foley. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? The job you waited for for 50 years! James M. Barrie, A man ought to work. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. 124 Famous Funny Inspirational Retirement Quotes Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. professionalism has set the tone Discover and share police retirement quotes funny. Congratulations. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. What happened? Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. "It's your turn. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that "I'm not retiring. A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. to date. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes . We, your Friends and Brothers, 1. Short Retirement Quotes, Wishes, & Sayings - Chaparral Winds Funny Retirement Quotes for your Boss. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. Retirement is not a life without purpose; it is the ongoing purpose that provides meaningfulness. For retirement planning, you should consider other 55. for the rest of the department. Ella Harris, "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay Martin it's your turn. I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. It ain't going to happen.". To the People of the State of New York. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. assets, income, and investments such as equity in a home or savings accounts in addition to your police retirement quotes - quotes for anyone from any profession! 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Amazon.com: Retired Police Shirt "Retirement is wonderful. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price Else, I would have to go to the police station and report you to the cops. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. It's all lazy days from now on! Congratulations! Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. to the New York Police Department. A Life Long Friendship. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. Police say they have nothing to go on. 6. and may you find joy and peace Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!". It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. of loyal and dedicated service to 19. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. 39 Retirement Quotes for Police Officers - Someone Sent You A Greeting Cop: Where do you think youre going?, Driver: Donut shop, officer. Cop: At 80 miles per hour? Driver: I wanted to make sure I beat you there, so there would still be donuts to buy.. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! The Wedding. These words may help. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! Cato, For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. 75 Funny Retirement Quotes - Quotes For Boss & Co-Worker As one chapter ends, another begins, welcome to your new . If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. 53. The basic mission of Police is to PREVENT crime and disorder. 80 Funny Police Jokes and Puns! . Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. Funny quotes Retirement quotes The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. 21. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. 75 Happy Retirement Wishes, Messages, & Quotes - Homemade-Gifts-Made What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? Confucius, "Well, I didn't grow up with that word 'retirement' as part of my consciousness. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. 11. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Jean Chatzky sums it up for me: "Whether it's fly-fishing, taking your camper to the Everglades, or just traveling, everyone has got a little retirement dream. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Leadership peace war world. Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. Show me a sample retirement speech! You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. "That's great!" says the doctor. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Wishing you a happy retirement! Retirement GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Finally a police car comes up. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. May we live up to your example. They serve and protect. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. Before you write, think. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Charles Lamb. Facts about financial success later in life! 30. There is no requirement that police stop a person who enters a police station and states that he wishes to confess a crime or a person who calls the police to offer a confession because volunteered statements of any kind are not barred by the 5th Amendment. 11. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. 1. Dishes the police. Your tireless work ethic and Happy retirement my dear friend. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 27. The guy touches his elbow and winces in . Happy Retirement! Some call it retirement. In appreciation for over 31 years We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! I can see a few of you look puzzled. "You will be alone. 6. . - Gail Sheehy. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. Funny Retirement Speeches - Funny Jokes You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. 35. Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. 500 matching entries found. I can't take it any more! 15. Connect with peers and experts, About 32. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." Showering is Now Optional. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job" - Ella Harris. Retirement is a Piece of Cake. Retirement quotes from movies, tv series and cartoons: phrases, lines Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! "Enjoy your newfound freedom and make the most of it. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! J. God bless the officers I work with. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. R.C. 26. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. Capitalize on what comes. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Retirement Party. Funny Retirement Quotes. Police Quotes - Etsy We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. With Great Honor and Recognition - Greg Tamblyn " You gain two new best friends upon your retirement. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Cars are backed up for miles. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. Here are some humorous options. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." George Burns, "Age is just a number, but retirement is one of the greatest gifts to mankind." Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Women go right on cooking.". Peter Lynch. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. Its doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. Gene Perret, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Unknown, You dont stop laughing when you grow old. Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 The police had to comb the area. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Best wishes! We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? 32. #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. "Half our life is spent trying to find . Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Call us today at 928-985-6259 and learn more about our facility and what we have to offer todays seniors. Thats what he is here for. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". Bravery, compassion, ingenuity and dedication all must combine in order for a man or woman to make a job in law enforcement a career in law enforcement. Scott Cook 0 Likes Sponsored Links Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" Lewis, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning. Earl Nightingale, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. R.C. Dislike Like. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. George Bernard Shaw, The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youll grow out of it.