The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. That is against their interests. Its totally FREE. gads.type = "text/javascript"; George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. We havent tried that for a while. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy We can afford to cut defense; we cant afford to cut education. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. The future will soon be a thing of the past. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads "Never argue with an idiot. pubID: '3211', adServer: 'googletag', bidTimeout: 4e3, params: { aps_privacy: '1YN' } But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. And I didnt really care in the first place.George Carlin, Dont confuse me with those who cling to hope. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. #privileges. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. Try spelling Evian backward. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. 4. return cookiePair[1]; They own you. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Laugh often, long and loud. //70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed They own, and control the corporations. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. How are YOU going to tackle today? Theyve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the State houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. George Carlin, 63. This is the best we can do folks. }); }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); Quote by George Carlin - SComedy Just because you got the monkey off your back, doesnt mean the circus has left town. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? I hate groups of people. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes return false; You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. American Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight LaughPlanet 900K subscribers Subscribe 42K 1.3M views 2 years ago #GeorgeCarlin #Comedy #America George Carlin Shitting on Government. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. , googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. [CDATA[ Like the boogie man. googletag.cmd.push(function() { As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? And the supreme arrogance? page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Government is an important institution. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. var e = document.createElement("script"); e.src = "https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41mrkPcyPwL.js"; document.head.appendChild(e); Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. [CDATA[ Property is theft. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. No money to be made off of the homeless. Welcome | QuoteSaga "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it." ~ (George Carlin). The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. They own you. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. } } Vicious quotes and captions plus a big list of quotations about vicious, xenophobia, and brutal quotes by George Carlin and Francois de la Rochefoucauld. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. What exactly is viewer discretion? But once youre born, youre on your own. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. }); Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Did you enjoy this article? If you can find a solution to homelessness where the corporations and politicians can make a few million dollars each, you will see the streets of America begin to clear up pretty damn quick! George Carlin, 67. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. George Carlin. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. George Carlin, 19. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. Were so self-important. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; George Carlin. George Carlin. stylesheet.type = "text/css"; Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. We cut education, in 50 years, well be so stack with idiots with shitty jobs that we wont have enough money to pay for defense! George Carlin, 85. He was an American standup comedian. Theres no present. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); Teach them to question everything. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. George Carlin, 51. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. Enjoy! I think people should be allowed to do what they want. We just believed everything. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. if (a[a9]) return; We havent tried that for a while. 3. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. You don't. You have no choice. George Carlin. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. What do you say? Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. //]]> This is the best we can do folks. Creative Commons. Thank you! " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. if (window.csa) { Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Theres a humorous side to every situation. George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight 3140. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. They should be more vivid. A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. q("i", arguments) This video is an ideal way to start your day off on a funny and thought provoking note and stay inspired through. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Top George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion Im not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. George Carlin, 62. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. gads.src = (useSSL ? Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Goalcast is an inspiring community for achievers dedicated to helping you improve all aspects of your life. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. " George Carlin Quotes "War will end when people stop showing up for it. George Carlin. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote Carlin and his "Seven dirty words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners.